Your perfect mate

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“Maybe it’s not about the length of time you’ve known someone; maybe it’s about instant recognition on an unconscious level. Our souls know each other.” ― S.E. Hall, Emerge

In my religion we believe that “‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.”

So everyone we met on earth we already met before , and sometime I wish I remember who was my perfect mate ,when I was a soul ,so it would be easier on earth

There is one person in my life I didn’t talk about yet , my fiancé , we been together for two and half years today ,started actually as best friends and then had a two year relationship and got engage 6 months ago,  he had to  travel for work after the engagement ,so it’s a long distance now ,and with this new situation ,and different difficulties happening in my life and his ,it’s really complicated now, and we’re barely talking .

as someone who didn’t have that many friends ,and it’s not easy to trust someone enough ,it surprised me how he made me feel comfortable and made it easy for me to be friends and open up to him ,at first  he was fascinated by me being different than everyone he knew before “ more crazy “ ,and I helped him with something he was working on ,and then we became best friends, I felt he challenges me , he made me open up more to other people ,he believed in my ability to find my voice and do something great in my life, he made me take care of myself more, go out more, do normal things, and think about myself ,and the things I can do instead of what I can’t do ,so it was a great friendship

And then when we started our relationship, I felt it won’t be that hard I already knew him very good and he knew me, how hard would it be, we’ll help each other grow, and I already had the feeling that we met in cross roads in our life’s and began growing together, so it was an amazing experience at first

I feel like to take this decision ,to find your perfect mate, you have to  be healed and ready yourself first ,and I knew I had a long path before am ready  but at the same time I always felt that my partner will be someone who connects with my spirit and fills it ,and at first I felt that he’s that someone ,so I thought why not just walk this road together ,then I discovered what I already knew .any thoughts that you can walk this path with someone with you is just hurting you and the other person .

while our true selves began to revealed we met many differences ,more than you would normally expect, had many heated arguments, but we both have one thing in common ,we hold on for too long

I gave this relationship a lot and it’s really hard for me to let go ,or even know when it’s right to keep fighting and when it’s time to let go

What kept me going before was the feeling that I’ll never find my perfect mate anyway, so why give up on something with some work can be great, and I believe that great relationships are built and not found, actually it was great at times

and what makes me hold on now is my knowledge that am not in any place to judge my relationship ,am In a really bad place in my life and so is he ,so why give up now ,so we agreed on taking a break ,maybe it’s because we’re too afraid to give up completely now, and may be because this really deserves  a chance ,am not sure yet ,but anyways am happy with our  decision. Wish us the best of luck

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