Living by giving



This old song “ if tomorrow never comes” , gets me every time I hear it , the meaning that if tomorrow never comes ,am I leaving my loved ones knowing how much I cared and loved them , will they feel I did everything in my power to help while I was a life ,or will I have regrets

Struggling with personal problems with my whole family, I always had this question, how we are all human beings, but still our definition of how we take care of ourselves and others can be completely different even growing up in the same home.

I can relate and understand our different approaches in taking care of ourselves, I feel it mainly can be split into  two ways

— People who used an inward approach, by having time for themselves, reviewing their life from time to time, dealing with their own emotions and problems and move on

–And there’s the outward approach of engaging in the world around you, giving and loving people and it all gives you a good feeling and a better life in general

I believe we should blend both as much as we feel comfortable with ,but I feel that people shut down ,and only focus on their  selves and only their needs, which turns them  into being selfish  and not really helping themselves or others

*My struggle is with how we take care of others and how much we ‘are willing to do, and listen to their needs

In some of the people around me, they feel they are struggling more than anyone in their life, so they are the only one’s deserving support, they shouldn’t be asked to give it out

And for other’s they feel it’s a burden on their shoulders to try to make someone else happy, or supported, especially if they really need it, they feel stressed if the people around them are stressed so they get mad at them instead of helping out

And the ones who fear opening up to other people or showing emotions, and those harm themselves way more than they do to other people

And there’s the kind that always gives excuses ,like I don’t have the time or energy ,or I didn’t know they needed me ,but who said you should only be there when they ask for it , why not  just give as much as you can.

Am not suggesting we should harm ourselves in the process, or give people who keep hurting us if we aren’t strong enough to handle it

but just giving  in general , with love and care is really needed in the world we live in ,and although everyone needs it ,it seems like very few  are willing to do it

For a long time in my life ,I felt like to care about someone ,is to  try to have their back ,give them support on every level possible if you can ,just do whatever you can ,whenever you can do it ,and it doesn’t have to be asked for ,and I actually thought it’s really easy ,even growing up In an abusive home , I felt like I still have lots of love and care to give to whoever needs it

I didn’t make excuses to not help anyone ,and I didn’t feel weird or stressed doing it ,I really felt better doing it , I like loving people ,showing them am there if they need me ,surprising others ,I love surprises ,planning them ,and just seeing that look on someone’s face makes my world smile ,hugging and saying I love you as often as I can ,and I never feel I gave enough ,there’s no enough or too much when it comes to love, and the thing is I never once sew someone complain that am too loving or something ,they love it ,so why if we all can appreciate or at least like getting this kind of support ,why there isn’t enough people giving it out ,why do we keep it to ourselves ,to not open up ,show how we feel ,make someone else feel special as much as we can

An then by time and as people come and go in my life , I still believe in “living by giving “ ,but sometimes I find it hard with some people and I understood more why not everyone would just open up and give others

But still shutting out more, didn’t make me feel better, actually it made me feel worse, weaker, like there is something missing.

I faced lots of harm and abuse in my life , and even though am still struggling with it ,and I have my bad days , I always felt  I can give lots of love  out anyway ,so why shouldn’t we all just try to give more.

In my world I spell love “g-i-v-e”


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